Beers and Beaches
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Loki/Tony. No. 6/10 in the CASHMBHGIF series. "It's Steve's favorite holiday of the year, and Tony sure loves parties. Why Fury would even contemplate letting the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents throw one on their private island is a mystery, but he's certainly not complaining. He's great at playing matchmaker anyway, and Steve sure needs it!" COMPLETE.


Author's notes: Hey y'all! Remember that series I'm writing with the super intense title? _CASHMBHGIF_ (Come And See How My Brain Has Gone Insane Forever)? Yeah, well, here's the 6th one! The first one of the last half. How exciting. It's 12 pages and just over 5,500 words according to Word, and, as usual, in Tony's POV. Also it's on the 4th of July, so go crazy, America!  
And hey I definitely suggest reading these things in order, partly for big things but mostly just for little things. There are going to be 10, but this is just the 6th, and I already have all of the titles and everything! The one before this was Moonpies and Movie Stars, and the one after this is Hiking and Hawkeye's. I'm working on H&H now, but who _knows_ when it will be done. I have so many other things that I'm writing… *sighs* the life of a writer.  
Anyway, I've put together a beach party playlist for this particular beach party story. You can listen to the song if you want, or you can listen to whatever you want! Doesn't bother me, but I thought I'd give you the option:

1. Suicide Eyes by A Thousand Horses  
2. Highway to Hell by AC/DC  
3. Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC  
4. Star Spangled Man from the Captain America soundtrack (duhhh)  
5. Cruise (feat. Nelly) by Florida Georgia Line  
6. Footloose by Kenny Loggins  
7. All Summer Long by Kid Rock  
8. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd  
9. Say Hey by Michael Franti  
10. Man! I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain  
11. Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash  
12. Hell Raisin' Good Time by Tim Hicks  
13. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (I just really wanted to okay)

Anyway, enjoy! :)

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**Disclaimer**: None of the characters in this story are mine unless I say otherwise. Yup.

**Summary**: Loki/Tony. No. 6/10 in the CASHMBHGIF series. "It's Steve's favorite holiday of the year, and Tony sure loves parties. Why Fury would even contemplate letting the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents throw one on their private island is a mystery, but he's certainly not complaining. He's great at playing matchmaker anyway, and Steve sure needs it!" COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: (Main) Tony/Loki; (Other) Bruce/Betty; Clint/Natasha; Thor/Jane; Steve/Maria; Pepper/Happy; Clint/Natasha/Thor/Jane [drunk 4-way woohoo];  
**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Additional tags/warnings**: m/m, m/f, and f/f pairings; strong language; implied smut but I'm lazy sorry

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**Beers and Beaches**

Tony never thought it would happen in a million years, but he wakes up wide-eyed to the sound of a bugle horn.

"What the _hell_, Steve?!" he yells, leaping off to grab the horn out of his hand.

"GOOD MORNING!" he yells in Tony's face, grabbing the bugle back.

Loki growls, sitting up from the bed after the rude awakening.

"Not to you," Steve says, shoving it into a loop on his pants. "To AMERICA."

Tony groans. "Right, I forgot, it's the fourth. Get out of our bedroom."

"Actually, I'm here to relay a message from Fury."

Tony frowns, moving back to sit down on the bed. "A message to me before noon? He should know better. What does he want?"

"The Avenger's are hosting a party!"

Tony drops his hands from where he was rubbing his eyes. "Party?"

Steve nods. "There's going to be a parade through the city, and then the whole of S.H.I.E.L.D. got Fury to let them have a beach party on their island headquarters."

"Island headquarters?" Loki asks, swinging his legs off of the bed as well. "S.H.I.E.L.D. owns an island?"

Steve nods. "The Triskelon is technically the main headquarters, they just all spend it in the flying submarine."

Tony doesn't feel like correcting him on what it really is, so he just rubs his eyes again. "Awesome, I love parties. When does it start?"

"In two hours."

"We'll be there."

"Don't you want to know where it is?"

"A parade? It won't be hard to miss, Steve. Follow the crowds."

**XxX**

"That was the worst parade ever," Tony mutters as he and Loki land on the front porch of the Avenger's mansion. Loki can't fly, but Tony is in his suit, so he might as well carry him instead of driving back with the others.

Loki laughs, mouth covered in pink cotton candy. "_I_ had fun."

The billionaire can't help but smile. "Come here, let me clean that off of you."

Loki kisses him softly, pushing Tony and his suit up against the door.

"Careful, you two," Bruce says, walking up behind them after driving back with everyone else in the limo that Pepper got for them. "You'll break the door with Tony dressed like that."

Loki pulls away with an apology, and Tony can't help but laugh at that. It's funny that someone so dangerous (yet so adorable) is terrified of Bruce even when he's only adorable and not dangerous. Serves him right for trying to take over the planet.

"You guys are coming to the after party, right?" Clint asks, walking in after Bruce.

Tony frowns. "After party?"

"Yup," Steve says, stopping beside them. "The beach party I told you about, remember?"

"Of course!" Loki exclaims. "Of course we're coming!"

Tony looks up at him. "Oh my gods, Loki… How have we never been swimming before? We've been to the zoo and the aquarium, but we've never been to a _pool_? Do you even have a swimsuit?"

Loki gives him a dull look. "I'm a magician, darling. All I have to do is snap my fingers on a pair of yours and they'll fit me fine. Not to mention my shape shifting abilities. You can go swimming with the dolphins and you won't even need real dolphins!"

Steve's entire face lights up, and even Natasha comes over to smile at them. "I've always wanted to surf on a shark!" she exclaims.

Loki chuckles. "Of course, child." He pats the top of her head. "We'll scare all the girls on their periods."

Steve wrinkles his nose up. "I'm going to go now."

Tony grins. "You're going to have to lose your virginity sometime, you old fart!" he yells after him.

Loki pats his head as well. "Come along, love. This party is bound to go all through the night, and I for one am not going to be able to hold back that long."

Tony grins larger as Loki pulls him away from the door to the lab entrance since Tony still needs to get out of his suit. "I'm glad you're the one I fell in love with, Lo'. Girls need _breaks_ from sex."

Loki gives him a light smirk over his shoulder. "How dull."

**XxX**

Pepper has to come over and help Tony and Loki pack for the day/night/however long the party is, and then everyone is off, cramming into one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicopter things. Everyone is already in swimwear, just with clothes over them. Loki chose Tony's only pair of green swim trunks, which is appropriate since that's the only color he ever ends up wearing. Tony is in his red and white pair, because where can you go wrong with Hawaiian flower print? Bruce's are purple, Steve's are in an American flag pattern (obviously), Pepper is in a very pretty pink one-piece (although Tony has never seen a sexier one-piece) that matches her hair, Natasha is in a skimpy red bikini, Clint's shorts are just black, and Tony will see what everyone else is wearing when they get to the island.

"How did I not know this was here though?" Tony mutters, looking out of the window as Natasha is landing the chopper.

"I don't know," Steve says, patting him on the back.

"Thor is going to be here, right?" Natasha asks.

Clint pouts out his bottom lip. "Are you going to ditch me for him again?"

Natasha smirks at him. "You do realize that, if I swing over to him, you get to hit on Jane, right?"

He snorts. "She'd never go for me."

Natasha twines their fingers together as they walk out of the back. "Twenty bucks says I can get them both into a four-way."

"You are _on_."

Bruce actually chuckles. "They're good together."

Loki smiles. "Speaking of which, is Elizabeth going to be here?"

At that precise moment, Betty bounds up the ramp. "Brucey!" she exclaims, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him hard.

Tony chuckles. "Does that answer your question?"

Steve smiles sadly at the happy couple as they finally stop kissing and leave the chopper, Bruce talking excitedly about his latest lab project.

"Don't give 'em that look, Cap," Tony says, patting him on the back. "There'll be tons of hardcore girls for you tonight."

Steve cringes. "I don't want a one night stand, Tony."

"Come on, one night stands are the beginning of a great relationship! How do you think Loki and I met?"

The blonde frowns. "How _did_ you two meet?"

Loki chuckles. "I came to his room one night. It wasn't that hard."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Come on, Steve-o. We'll find you the perfect woman."

They all pile into the tram that's waiting to take them away from the landing pads and to the actual beach (on the other side of all the buildings from the city—which was Fury's idea, probably. Why he would actually let a party go down on these grounds is _beyond_ Tony's comprehension), passing a bunch of other agents going the same direction. Some are on longboards or skateboards and others are roller skating, but Tony's personal favorite is the two woman riding robotic horses.

"W-o-w," Clint says as the tram pulls up to the edge of the beach. "I've been to beach parties, but…"

"So many _women_!" Tony exclaims, slinging an arm around Steve's neck.

"Tony, honestly, I—"

"You don't even have to get laid, okay? Just _talk_ to some."

He sighs. "Okay."

Tony whoops, and even Loki looks excited at the prospect of finding Steve a girlfriend. Before they get very far, though, someone yells a very angry exclamation:

"It's _YOU_!"

Tony and Loki turn around with confused looks to see none other than…

"Holy shit," Tony chokes out.

"I'm, uh…" Steve mumbles. "Gonna go."

Tony and Loki don't really hear him, and Loki's jaw drops. "Is that…?"

"Aunt fucking Hill?" Agent Maria Hill grinds out, stopping in front of them.

Tony and Loki both look her and her turquoise bikini top/leopard print bottoms over. "I think I solved our three-way problem, Lo'," Tony says.

Hill punches him in the shoulder—_hard_. "You wish, asshole." She looks up at Loki. "I have had some pranks pulled on me in my day," she all but snarls, "but you are _dead meat_." She points over at where a beach volleyball net has been set up. "You against me and my girls."

Tony finally gets his line out: "What are you, the leader of a harem?"

A smirk is not exactly the reply that Tony expected. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" she says, jabbing him in the middle of the chest with her index finger. Then she grabs Loki's hand, dragging him over.

Tony follows after, setting down all of their stuff outside of the lines. He doesn't recognize any of the women, but Hill fixes that when she introduces them all: Sharon Carter (she's Peggy's niece or something? Either way they're related, and Steve is going to have a hay day. Where'd did he go in such a hurry, anyway?), Alisa Tager (isn't she one of the X-Men?), and Elizabeth Braddock (her, too?).

Tony can't help but ask. "So…you're all fucking, then?"

A volleyball comes out of nowhere, smacking him in the back of his head.

"Just 'Lizabeth an' I, dickwad," a woman says, walking out from behind him.

Tony frowns at her. "Wait, a minute, aren't you Clint's old wi—"

"_Old_," she hisses. Then she holds a hand out. "Barbara Morse. Nice to meet you. Tell Clint he can suck a dick."

As if on queue, Clint pops up between her and Tony. "Already have, little bird."

She grins. "How yuh been, babe?"

Clint smirks. "Gettin' about as much pussy as you are."

Natasha shows up, too, yanking at his ear. "Stop fighting, flaggers."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "What the fuck is a flagger?"

Clint turns a grin to Tony. "Gay pride flags."

"But…you're with Natasha."

"The term is bisexual, Stark," Barbara says, tossing the volleyball backwards to Hill. "Like you, right?"

Tony purses his lips. "Loki's the only guy I like."

"Good thing, too," the god says, kissing his temple. "That many cocks add up to far too much stupid in one room."

Natasha smirks. "Am I the only straight one here?"

Hill elbows her lightly. "Just because I get less cock than you doesn't mean I don't want it."

Tony suddenly gets the best idea in his entire life. "I'll, uh…" He grins. "I'll leave you guys to slaughtering my boyfriend, then."

Loki chuckles. "That's what _they_ think."

Holding his arms out, he creates four other clones, making the teams even.

"Ooh, a challenge," Hill says, cracking her knuckles. "I like it."

Tony quick flits off, ignoring the looks that he's getting from Clint and Natasha, to go and find his favorite short-haired blonde. He runs into a lot of people on the way, multiple other beach games going on as well. Eventually, though, he finds him talking to Tony's least favorite colored person _and_ his favorite one.

"Rhodey!" he says happily, throwing his arms around him.

Rhodey gives a good natured eye roll, pushing him away. "It's good to see you too, Tone."

Tony looks over at Fury, still in his usual trench coat getup. "Life a' the party there, aren't yuh, Nicky?"

Fury uses his one eye to glare very intently at the billionaire. "Don't push it, Stark."

"Come on, you're not even in shorts! It's got to be over eighty degrees ou—oh, whatever. Steve, come on, I have an idea."

Steve cringes slightly. "You're sure?"

"Positive."

Rhodey cocks an eyebrow, telling Fury goodbye before following after. "Please tell me you're not trying to get Steve a girlfriend."

Tony frowns at him, still dragging Steve towards the beach volleyball game that Loki is possibly slaughtering but also maybe getting slaughtered since he's never played before. "How'd you know?"

"Because Steve looks like he's about to pass out."

Tony gives Steve a dull look. "It's just a girl, dude. Worst case she doesn't like you back. It's not that big a deal."

Steve sighs. "Easy for you to say."

"He's right, Steve," Rhodey says, patting him on the shoulder. "A little, anyway."

Tony frowns. "Since when are you two on a first name basis?"

"Not the point, Tone. Who are you thinking of?"

Tony grins at each of them before pointing to one on the girls team against Loki (he can't tell who's winning, but they've certainly drawn a crowd).

Steve's jaw literally drops, and Rhodey snorts.

"I think she's gay, Tone," he says.

"Nuh-uh, she said she wasn't!"

"He can't date someone he works with so often! He'll be constantly distracted!"

"He's Captain America! He'll be fine!"

"Tony, _look at him_."

Tony does. The blonde looks broken, actually. His jaw is still dropped, too, so Tony sighs and reaches over to close it. "What are you thinking, Steve-o?"

His lips flap a little bit before he finally gasps it out: "Agent. Maria. _Hill_?"

Tony smiles. "I knew it was a good idea!"

Steve shakes his head. "No, not her, she—"

"Ooh, you're blushing, you totally want her. Look at her, dude. _Leopard print_."

Steve refuses to look for a second, but even Tony's little (big) All-American Virgin looks up (very shyly) eventually. "What does the leopard print have anything to do with it?"

"It means she's experienced, and you are not."

He blushes even more.

"You're terrible, Tony," Rhodey says, shoving at his shoulder to move him so he can stand between them. "What Tony has been trying to say, Steve, is that he thinks you and Hill will go together well because you guys know each other. It's not going to be you stuttering awkwardly until she rolls her eyes and kisses you because you're cute."

Steve wrinkles his nose up. "Thanks?"

Tony chuckles, squeezing back between them. "Just try it, Steve. Loki an' I will help, okay? As terrifying as that sounds, I'm good at that stuff, and I'll bet my half of the mansion that he's even better."

Steve frowns down at him. "Your half of the mansion?"

"I funded some of that thing, man. Now go have fun with people that don't make you blush. You don't have to talk to her yet. She's still busy with my own boyfriend."

"_Speaking_ of which…" Rhodey says, turning Tony to face him.

Steve gives an uneasy laugh. "See yuh, Tony."

Tony gives Rhodey a guilty look. "Uh…I like villain dick. Surprise?"

His friend looks away in a sort of disgusted, disappointed mixture. Not at his "liking dick", but certainly his choice of words. "I just wish you had told me before Fury and Steve started talking about it."

Tony snorts. "I'm sorry, they were talking about us?"

"Nothing sketchy, no. It was just brought up that you two have been a good team on the field."

Tony grins. "That's true. It's convenient that he showed up, really, since Thor is usually dealing with things up in Asgard. I mean, since it'd be an odd number without Loki having taken his place. Did you hear that the big ole blonde's actually king now?"

A head suddenly pokes between theirs, and Tony gives a wide-eyed look to Darcy Lewis.

"That _all_ you been herein'?" she asks, wiggling her eyebrows and slinging her arms over their shoulders. Tony's never actually met her before, but so far he likes her. He likes outgoing people.

"What else is there to hear?" Rhodey asks. He's not sure if they've met, but he doubts it.

She grins back and forth between them. "You didn't hear it from me," she whispers, barely audible above the cheers from the crowd around the volleyball game (maybe Tony should actually watch it; it's his boyfriend, after all), "but Thor is going to propose to her later tonight."

Rhodey doesn't seem too excited about that, but Tony lets his jaw drop down. "No _way_," he whispers back.

She nods. "Remember, though…" she says, dropping her arms and slowly backing into the crowd. "You didn't hear it from me."

Tony grins at Rhodey. "I like her."

Rhodey gives him an odd look. "She's not really my type."

"Rhodey, oh my gods, you don't have a girlfriend either! We've got to hook you up, too!"

He laughs uneasily. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Come on, even you have to admit that Steve and Hill will be perfect."

"So?"

Tony grins. "It'll be fun, I promise."

"I highly doubt tha—"

Before he can finish, there's an ear shattering cheer throughout the entire crowd.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Tony mutters, ditching Rhodey so he can push to the front of everyone.

He expected beach volleyball. He really did. What he sees instead, though, is a table set up on one half, Hill and Loki sitting on opposite sides. They're… Cards. They're playing a game of cards. He walks up further, moving behind Loki. The rest of Hill's harem is all backing her up, but the only one behind Loki (besides Tony, now) is none other than Erik Selvig. Why, Tony doesn't know. Clint was pretty pissed at him about taking over his mind. Tony's not sure how Selvig dealt with it.

"What the hell?" Tony says.

"War," Selvig says, filling him in. "It's the only game that they could think of where Loki couldn't cheat with his godly and magical abilities. It's a card game of chance."

Tony can't help but snort. "Who's winning?"

"Look at the piles, dumbass," Barbara's girlfriend, "'Lizabeth", says.

Tony does, trying to remember the rules. Loki has a total of three cards in his tiny little deck, and Hill has all the rest. Do you want no cards…or all the cards?

"All of them," Loki hisses, fingers poised to flip up his first of three cards.

Hill dishes out a seven, and Loki snarls at his three. Hill serves a Queen, Loki gives up a Jack (probably his best card, too).

"Last card, oh _God of Mischief and Trickery_," Hill says, and her tone actually frightens Tony slightly.

Loki is so pissed off that he actually has his fangs out.

"Starting to regret your birthday present now?" Hill says with a grin.

Loki smirks in return. "Never in a million years." Turning his card over, he plays a King. "Beat that, quim."

Hill looks extremely sexy biting her bottom lip in that bikini and with her hair down, but Tony knows that she's nervous as hell. She peels up the corner of her card, but before she can actually lift it up and see it, Clint comes running through the crowd with a basket.

"Place your bets, now," he says. "For the God of Lies, or for Maria McBAMF!"

Hill glares over at him. "How did you find out my middle name? That information is classified."

He smirks at her. "Jarvis got it for me."

Tony frowns. "Wait…"

"All bets are placed!" Clint yells before Tony can question his AI helping somebody else any longer. He leans down by Hill's shoulder. "Maria McKayla Hill, you may flip your card."

Hill punches him in the shoulder—_hard_, by the looks of it. Obviously she's pretty good at that. Slowly—very, very slowly—she lifts her card. The entire crowd is holding their breath, and Loki is squeezing his eyes shut. When the card is placed, many things happen at once…

Half of the crowd explodes with cheers, while the other half groans at their lost money. Hill is kissing every last one of her harem members hard on the lips (girls are so weird), and Tony has never heard Loki cuss so much in his entire life.

"REMATCH!" he snarls.

Hill smirks at him. "Face it, bucko. You lost. Fair and square." She sidles right up to him and taps the tip of his nose with a long fingernail. Tony didn't notice before, but they're painted black but for the ring finger, which has a leopard print design. Why do girls always have to match everything? Tony didn't expect it from Hill, either. Obviously she's not just "Maria McBAMF", though. She's actually got a life. Weird.

Loki bares his teeth, and Tony decides that now is a good time to go get his boyfriend drunk off his ass—which is not easy to do with human alcohol, so it's twice as fun! "Alright, babe," he says, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Calm down, calm down. You deserved to lose anyway."

Loki glares at him. "Some boyfriend _you_ are."

Tony bats his eyelashes. "Love you."

Loki rolls his eyes, draping an arm over his shoulders. "Love you, too."

The crowd begins to disperse, then, and the table is taken away so real games of beach volleyball can be played.

Hill smiles as they walk out of the lines. "I've been so bent on revenge that I never noticed how cute you two really are."

Tony grins. "Dude, I can totally hook you up with someone."

She cocks an eyebrow. "I said you're cute, not if we can go through with that three-way idea."

"No, no, I meant…" He sighs. "Do you like Steve?"

She frowns. "You mean…Rogers?"

"Yeah, Captain America. It's his birthday today, you know."

She cocks an eyebrow. "I know him well enough that he's not really the one-night stand birthday sex kind of a guy."

Loki smirks. "And you are?"

She gives him a very dark look, and Loki actually backs down. "Not really, no," she says.

Tony smiles brightly. "Then you're perfect! He wants someone to love, not occasionally fuck. You should totally go talk to him."

"He's looking this way now and he looks like he wants to strangle you with his punching wraps."

"That's because he totally has a crush on you and he's embarrassed. He'll thank me later."

"What if I don't want to go talk to him?"

Loki smirks again. "We're not playing a game of chance anymore, child. I could perceive the cards, but I could not choose which ones came next. Now, though…" He uses magic to grow out the nail of his index finger and taps her nose. "I can read your mind."

Tony snorts to hold back his laughter. He really doesn't want to get punched again.

"Fine," she says, licking her lips. "I'll go talk to him."

"Ah, be gentle now," Loki says, pulling Tony closer to him. "The Captain is…delicate."

She smirks over her shoulder. "Not when I'm through with him."

Tony grins after her. "You know, I think I like her."

Loki smiles down at him. "I do as well. I know she just beat me at a game of cards, but I certainly did deserve to lose. Now, about getting me drunk off my ass…"

**XxX**

Tony expected to wake up with the mother of all hangovers, but he actually feels rather fine.

"You're welcome," Loki mumbles beside him, buried up against his side.

Tony smiles down at him. "You took away my headache?"

"Mmhmm."

Tony sits up slowly, looking out over the beach. He and Loki are in the bed of a large pick-up (who's, Tony doesn't know), blankets and things piled all around them. Pepper and Happy are in it as well, sitting up against the side with both heads dropped backwards, fast asleep. They're holding hands, and Tony can't help but smile. Took 'em long enough. There are other pick-ups parked along and one really big creeper van, but most of the sand is dominated by tents. Everyone is back just far enough that they're not hit by the tide, though there are a few chairs sitting just in the edge of it.

Some people are just lying out on blankets, and Tony has never grinned wider when he sees Steve and Hill lying down on one of them as well. Obviously they didn't make it to very many bases last night (they may not have even kissed, but Tony will find the specifics out later), but if the way Steve has his arm wrapped around Hill's waist as she's cuddled up to his side has anything to say about it… Well, Tony's match making skills haven't expired yet, anyway. He sees Bruce and Betty, too, lying half in a tent, and Bruce doesn't have his shirt on. Tony knows they didn't get to the dirty deed with this many people around (maybe Betty's into that, but Bruce would never go for it; he'll have to ask later to make sure, though) because Bruce had his shirt off long before the fireworks even started. Swimming an' all.

The big creeper van catches Tony attention again when it shakes a bit, and Tony's eyes widen very, very wide when the back doors open to allow all four of Clint, Natasha, Thor, and Jane to stumble out of it. Clint is in his pants and Thor's earth t-shirt, Natasha is in Jane's entire outfit, Jane is wearing Clint's t-shirt and Natasha's red bikini bottom, and Thor is just in his jeans.

"You owe me twenty bucks," Natasha says to Clint as they walk passed the truck that Tony is sitting up in. Pepper and Happy never woke up, and it looks like Loki fell back asleep.

Clint grins, looking up at Tony. "Totally worth it."

Tony blinks after them, but then Thor gets to the truck. "Good morning, Anthony," he says around a yawn. Tony didn't realize how early it still is. The sun is barely even up, and his cell phone reads six-something in the morning.

Jane smiles at him as well, wrapping her arms around Thor's stomach. "Did you sleep well, Mr. Stark?"

Tony forces himself to just smile instead of laugh. "I did very well, yes." His smile turns to a smirk. "What about you, Miss Foster?"

She giggles like a fourth grader. "Just as well, thank you. You can't call me that for much longer, though."

Tony frowns. "Huh?"

Thor grins, holding up her left hand. "We're getting married."

Tony's eyes widen. "Wow!" he says. "That's…that's awesome! Darcy said something about that! Let me see, let me see."

Jane holds her hand up to him, and Tony inspects the perfect diamond ring. "This is…amazing."

Jane giggles again, pulling her hand away. "You're invited to the wedding, of course. We'll send out formal invitations later. It's going to be held in Asgard!"

Tony smiles. "Can't wait."

After they've walked away, Loki sits up.

Tony gives him a warm smile. "I thought you fell back asleep."

Loki counters his look with a sad one. "I hate you," he whispers.

It actually feels like Tony's heart is going to explode. "I—what? Oh my gods, what did I do? I'll fix it, it was an accident. I love you, I—"

"That's the problem, Tony."

Tony frowns very deep. "What…do you mean?"

"You promised me that you wouldn't make me fall in love with you."

Tony blinks down at him, eyes wide. He remembers that, back in April, just before Loki's birthday present to Hill. They were having sex…

_ "But don't ever make me…make me love you. Promise me you won't?"_

"_I can't make you do—ow, ow! There is no need for—oh gods—permanent teeth marks on my sk-skin, you sensitive twa-ah-at. I won't make you love me, I pr-promise."_

"Loki, I…" He swallows. "I'm sorry."

Loki bits his bottom lip for a moment. "I'm never going to grow old, you know. But you will, and then you'll die, and I'll…" He looks away. 'I'll be all alone again."

"Hey, hey." Tony moves to wrap his arms tightly around Loki's shoulders. "I don't have to grow old."

"Yes you do, Tony. I know that you're thinking of Idunn's apples, but… Your friends. They'll grow old as well, and you'll get to watch them. You're a terrible thing, you mortals."

Tony kisses his temple. "I love you, Loki. I love my friends, too, but listen... They're going to grow old anyway, right? Either I can watch them die like I would have anyway and then die right after them—maybe before—or I can watch them die and then stay with you forever. It'd just be the two of us, then. No more mortals. Just…gods."

Loki is silent for a long time, but he finally looks up, a tear clinging to his cheek. "But, Tony, you—"

Tony clasps Loki's face between his hands and kisses him hard. "Shut up," he whispers once pulling away. Barely, though. Their lips are still brushing. "I love you. I fucking love you. I don't care if you're going to feel bad. You can either feel bad about my friends dying in front of me or feel bad about _all_ of us dying in front of _you_. I'll eat the damn apple on my next birthday and we'll ease everyone into the idea and then we'll live happily ever after. So just…shut up. Shut up and fucking kiss me."

Loki lets out one of those weird gasps that are both sad and happy at the same time, throwing his arms tightly around Tony's waist.

"I'm sorry I made you love me," Tony whispers when they finally pull away, "but not really."

Loki smiles. Before he can say anything, though, the heads of Clint and Natasha poke up beside them from the outside of the truck.

"Immortality?" Clint says. "You mean the golden apples? You mean staying alive with all of our friends and saving the world even _more_?"

Natasha grins. "Where do I sign up?"

Tony blinks at them a moment, and then he turns and blinks at Loki. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Loki purses his lips. "I don't think I'm _allowed_ to."

"Like _that_ matters," Darcy says, appearing out of nowhere as well. "If Jane and Tony get to… Well, I want to, too."

Loki sighs, looking back at Tony. "This is the worst idea ever, Tony."

"No it's not! The whole family, remember? Godfather Bruce, Godmother Natasha, Nanny Steve, Uncle Clint, Mamma Pepper, Papa Tony, Brother Thor, and Aunt Hill! Fury probably shouldn't know about it until it's too late. He won't want to live forever, I don't think… But! Now we'll add Step-Godmother Betty, Next Door Neighbor Darcy, and Step-Papa Happy!"

Loki mashes his lips into a soft line, looking around them. "You know what?" he says at length, looking back at Tony with a smile. "Why the Hel not?"

The whoops that they all send up wake a lot of people, but that's okay. For the rest of Tony's life, everything is going to be _perfect_.

_**-fin-**_

* * *

Ending author notes: Alright, so that's the end of that! Not a huge Tony/Loki outlook in most of this, but I'm hoping I made up for it enough with the end :) Either that or they're aLL GOING TO DIe. Who knows? Anyway, the next one shall be Hiking and Hawkeye's, in which Tony takes Loki hiking and it gets turned against him! I have nooo idea when it will be done, so…be on the lookout, my lovely readers! Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcome :) *hearts all around*


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